Balance

We are two and a half months in now as a family of four. Things are going rather smooth most days. Alec is adjusting to Wes and Wes is adjusting to life on the outside. Honestly, I think the one struggling to adjust the most is me. It's the lack of sleep that I find most challenging. Getting out of bed in the morning has never seemed more difficult. But whether I like it or not, I hit the ground running every day. I wake to a whimper or a cry... and hardly get a chance to pee before I am assuming my role as Mama again. I often drink my coffee cold, and I seriously can't remember the last time I shaved my legs, but ya know, it's worth it. Every damn bit of it.

Time seems to be flying by, but somehow the days seem so long. Getting out of the house on these chilly winter days seems to be more hassle than it's worth. We've been spending most of our time at home, and to be honest, it's been easier than I thought it would be. My big boy has been playing so well on his own. He is learning that I can't tend to him at every moment of need. He heads down to his playroom every morning after breakfast and can sometimes occupy himself for hours. The boy has quite a vivid imagination and I am so grateful. He's a great kid, but that's not to say he doesn't have melt-downs every now and again. I mean he's two, so it's to be expected.

And my littlest guy, he is just the smiliest little dude around. And I feel like I am really starting to figure him out. Wake, eat, play, sleep... repeat. He takes his meals very seriously. And the kid can't sleep a wink without being tightly swaddled. At night, he is sleeping in his own room, in his own crib, which is a real fete for me. (Such a drastic difference than with my first). I was hoping this transition would help him sleep longer stretches, but we are still managing about two wake-ups per night. I know it could be worse, but it doesn't mean I'm not exhausted.

I started back to work about two weeks ago. (I'm a nurse if you didn't know) It didn't take long to get right back into the swing of things. Just like riding a bike, it all comes right back to ya. This transition has probably been the most challenging. Wes is still so young, and I had to return after only eight weeks at home. Sleep is minimal, all around. Restless nights at home, and sleepless nights at work. Coffee is truly the best thing on earth, it keeps me sane. The hustle bustle of balancing it all has been tough on my husband and I, but we are managing. And although things are a bit chaotic now, I know they will get easier with time. There is light at the end of this tunnel, and I just need to remind myself that one day I will look back and miss all of this. These boys of mine are only this little for so long and I need to cherish these days spent at home with them as much as possible.

So overall, life is kind of crazy right now. And honestly, it may only get crazier. And I have come to terms with the fact that I may have permanent spit up stains on my shoulders, and my coffee may never be hot again. I'm learning to accept my Mom bod as best I can. I'm realizing that it's okay if the house isn't perfectly tidy at all times of the day. I'm embracing the crazy, because these boys of mine are so, so worth it and life is just too short to worry about all the nonsense.