Thursday, March 12, 2015

Just Keep Swimming

I'm about to get a little serious over here, so if you're not up for it, back away from the blog. I am not sure if it's my pre-menstrual self (too much I know) but this week has been hard, especially hard and there have been moments where I just want to scream. But I don't, instead, I take a few deep, cleansing breaths and do whatever I can to keep myself together.

For starters, Alec's first set of molars are coming in and let me tell you, the kid is a hot mess… like melt-down city for the last week and I am digging deep to find every ounce of patience I have within me. I think it's so challenging because he is normally this really go-with-the-flow toddler so all this tantrumy (yes, tantrumy) behavior is so out of character for him. I realize that he can't be comfortable, but at the same time, I am wondering to myself… is this his teeth or he is just testing me? Is he hitting that stage of life where he wants to test the waters, see what he can get away with, see what Mom and Dad will do? I am a first-timer at this whole mom thing and most days I think I am doing a pretty decent job, but this week I just don't know. It's been a hard, challenging week and I am really hoping all of this crazy behavior is just a stage that will resolve very soon (actually, today would be great).

I also got some crumby news at work this week. I was told that I won't be able to move into a new position that (I thought) was completely set in stone. This 'new' position was going to be so great for me and my family. It offered better hours, less out-of-pocket cost for benefits…it allowed Kiel to spend more time at work, so he could focus more attention on his blossoming career… it allowed me to be home ALL week with Alec so I wouldn't have to constantly sleep deprive myself while working shift work. There were so many positive changes that this new position would offer and I am beyond bummed that it's suddenly not in the cards for me. But alas, I know things will work out. They always do. So, in the meantime, I've just go to keep my chin up, stay busy, and focus on the now. I should probably just be grateful that I have a flexible job in the first place. So, grateful I will be.

There's more on my mind, there is always more, but no need to dwell. Because the truth is, we all go through these little rough patches in life. Sometimes things just don't go as planned and life gets kind of hard… and then suddenly it gets good again, like really good and this roller coaster that we call life wouldn't be nearly as beautiful without moments like this to put it all into perspective.

Anyway, that's my two cents this week. I hope life is treating you well.