Tuesday, November 26, 2013


Since our day of discharge, our little family has been on quite the roller coaster ride. Coming home has felt just like coming home for the first time all over again. Initially, sleep was non-existant and our stress levels were off the charts. In the hospital, Alec had gotten used to waking up every hour. It seemed like every time we got him all swaddled and snuggled into bed, the nurse or doctor came in to assess him or check a blood pressure and we'd have to start all over again. Any sort of sleep routine we had established prior to our hospital stay was completely shot. Since we've been home, each week has improved just a bit and we are finally starting to feel like we have a pretty good handle on his sleep routine again... and thank goodness because for a while there I thought I was losing my mind.

 Another big hurdle we faced was pain... every sneeze, cough, laugh, hiccup hurt him so badly and there was nothing Kiel or I could do to take the pain away. After about a week and a half post-op, we were encouraged to stop giving the pain medication and just stick with tylenol. Those first couple of days were incredibly tough. The tylenol just didn't seem like enough and it was hard to know there was a possible fix sitting right in our medicine cabinet. But we stuck to the doctor's orders and toughed it out. Now things are better, but the pain is definitely still there. We have started to figure out which positions are most comfortable and we have gotten used to the 'scoop'. (We can't lift him under his arms). There were times we felt absolutely powerless. We couldn't even snuggle our newborn comfortably. This was especially hard for me. Prior to surgery, Alec would nap peacefully on my chest for hours. Post-surgery, I literally missed him even when he was right in my arms. I couldn't hold him like I knew I did before. Every move had to be cautiously made and thought out. But thankfully, we have all adapted to this change and our snuggle time at 11 Steeplechase is back to where it was before.

Alec has never cried more than he has in these past few weeks. There were times when nothing we did could soothe our child and we felt so helpless. Thankfully, over the weekend, I really think we turned a corner. It really seems as if he is finally starting to feel better. He is crying less and less, and he is sleeping more soundly throughout the night. I am feeling so relieved. There were moments I felt so anxious I could have screamed. Every day is getting just a tiny bit better and I am starting to re-gain my confidence as a Mama. Turns out... we actually do know what we're doing, the recovery process just takes time.

We have received so much support throughout this time. My parents, especially, have really stepped in to lend a hand when Kiel and I were in dire need of a break. I am so thankful for all the amazing support. Thanks to everyone again for all the kind messages and prayers. Things could be a whole lot worse, and this Thanksgiving we truly have something so amazing to be thankful for.